To be vigilant means to look out, be alert, be careful, be sharp-eyed and watch for possible dangers. Jesus, at the beginning of Advent, asks us to be vigilant.
There are many things we know and easily see which are unhelpful and unhealthy and affect our ability to live the spiritual life (and Advent) well. We are aware of the dangers of excess materialism or pride, or holding a grudge or refusing to be forgiving or racist attitudes or gluttony – which isn’t so easy to conceal over time!
There is, however, a vigilance that invites us to notice a much more subtle dynamic. In the second week of the Spiritual Exercises, St Ignatius warns us about the tactic of the bad spirit who may come disguised as an ‘angel of light’. The bad spirit tricks us into thinking that we are being virtuous when taking on the burden of good works and duties that, frankly, are impossible to bear or leave us feeling empty. This can be a
far greater distraction – and more dangerous – than our pride or grudges. Why? Because, as St Ignatius says, this masquerades as God working, but it really keeps the focus on ourselves, the burdens that we think we are virtuously carrying or the good we think we are doing for others we are ultimately not. It is all about us.
Many people tell me they find Christmas a difficult time – relationally and also economically. There is pressure to go out and buy gifts for people, pressure to do things in a certain way and pressure to be with family and friends. These all might seem right and good, yet they leave us feeling irritable and frustrated.
Notice how the focus shifts: all the good we think we are doing for others, and God keeps the focus on us – whether that’s frustrations, irritability, or simply feeling empty. Our worries and anxieties about all we need to do take centre stage in our lives. Our focus is shifted from God, who should be the focus during this time of Advent, to ourselves.
When we feel worn out or empty at the end of Advent or on Christmas day, it is most likely because we have been tricked into thinking we had to do (and buy) a whole lot of good. In the process, we put ourselves under pressure. Our focus has, all along, been our anxieties, all I need to do. Our attention has been diverted – under the guise of good – from the Lord to ourselves.
The vigilance Jesus invites us to is vigilance that notices these subtle dynamics that, in the end, lead us away from God under the guise of good.
Can you see something of your own experience of being ‘tricked’ into believing that you are doing good, but in the end, you land up irritable, empty and frustrated, bearing an impossible ‘good’ burden? How can you be more vigilant this Advent? What will you do to ensure that you do not lose focus on Christ as we move towards Christmas?
