Jesus waits until after breakfast and then asks Peter the threefold question: “Do you love me?”
The threefold question immediately reminds us of Peter’s threefold denial at the charcoal fire when the maidservants said he was a disciple of Jesus after his arrest. He swears that he was not. This must have been a very difficult moment for Peter, in front of all the other disciples – awkward? embarrassing? It must have been challenging for Jesus too.
Jesus recalls something painful for them both when he asks this series of questions. Jesus, knowing his trusted friend denied him, and Peter knowing that he denied Jesus, as he was more worried about what would happen to himself at that time, stand face to face. Jesus faces the pain of the past head on. To move on Jesus knows, that for both their sakes, he has to confront
this.
The same is true in our own lives. We too need to confront the wounds of the past if we want to move on. We don’t like to admit that we are all wounded. Some of our hurts are brought about by us. Others are inflicted upon us because of the woundedness of others or the tilted structures of life itself.
But there is also something very important, it seems, that we are called to give attention to. Jesus does not accuse Peter at all. Notice the positive framing of the question… “Do you love me?” Jesus could have said “you once denied me, are you now sure about your relationship with me?” He doesn’t do that.
There is an important lesson for us in this moment. When we seek to restore what is broken from the past, when we seek healing – or invite others into a conversation to deal with the past – how we use words is important. Words and our use of them is a very important consideration. The kinds of questions we ask are also important.
Today you might want to consider what needs healing in your life – what situation or relationship might you have to stand face to face with? How will you do this? What words will you use (they are important!) and how will you frame it?
