“I wanted it. Desired it greatly. Yearned for its coming. But when it did come, I fought, I resisted, ran, hid away. I said, “Go home!” I didn’t know the fire of God could be more than a gentle glow or a cosy consolation. I didn’t know it could come in a blaze…a wildfire uncontrolled, searing my soul, chasing my old ways, smoking them out. Only when I stopped running, gave up the chase, surrendered, did I know the fire’s flaming as consolation and joy. Only then could I welcome the One whose fire I had long sought.” (Joyce Rupp)

John 14:15-21
 

We are in an interesting tension. On the one hand, we wait with the disciples for the fulfilment of the promise of this week’s Gospel text – the coming of the Holy Spirit after the Ascension. Yet, at the same time, we already live in the fulfilment of this promise. 

We also live in the tension of wanting the radical transformation the Spirit can bring and sometimes running away and resisting it. We can fear its searching, searing power and what demands will be made of us. And yet, we long for the consolation and joy it brings. 

In the coming days, as we prepare for Pentecost, we can intentionally notice how we both welcome and resist the Holy Spirit. We can ask to fully receive the gift Jesus promised to the disciples and each of us so that there may be a new and more tangible awareness of the presence and power of the Spirit in our lives. 
 

Reflections by Annemarie Paulin-Campbell

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